Overwhelmed and frustrated

Right now I have ice on my shoulder and wrapped around my left wrist. Things were going pretty well earlier in the week. I finally found the right spot for my chin rest so I can hold my violin without messing up my shoulder. It also means I can get around the fingerboard much easier, which means I play better. Things were sounding really good. And the came Friday. I put an IKEA bookcase together and apparently did in my left shoulder and wrist. I couldn’t play at all on Friday. It still hurt yesterday, but I practiced anyway. I felt like if I called and canceled my lesson I would be in big trouble. Today I was doing okay. Still a little sore but getting around. I’m pushing myself. I know what I’m doing is wrong. My lesson last week didn’t go well. I feel like everything is suppose to be up to tempo, and perfect. I can’t seem to get there, and it’s making me very frustrated and inpatient. It makes me feel like I’m never going to get to where I want to go. I’ve messed my left wrist up pretty bad before. It took 4 months of PT to be pain free after a serve tendon strain. My doctor thought it was tendonitis, the hand specialist he referred me to rolled her eyes. I know that I shouldn’t be playing when it hurts.

So, I’ve stopped, which is incredibly frustrating because I have so much to do. But I know that I’m never even going to get to the audition if I don’t stop and take care of things. I’m sure tomorrow’s lesson is not going to be great, but I can’t help that or worry about it right now.

I’m going to take the dogs for another walk, make some white bean chicken chili for dinner, and wish I had a chocolate cupcake instead