The violin search: thoughts

A lot of people have had opinions about this violin search. Most of my close friends have been supportive, and understand. I’ve known for several years that I’ve needed to buy a new violin. While I was continuing to improve on the one my parents bought so long ago I had reached the point where it couldn’t give any more. That was three years ago. I was fortunate that my teacher had an extra violin that wasn’t being used, and he loaned it to me. I started getting better, significantly so in the past 10 months. I knew that I needed to start saving, but I also had a mountain of student loan, and credit card debt. I came up with a plan to attack the debt. My teacher continued to encourage me to try to save towards a violin.

Back in March my students loans were finally paid off thanks to some help from my parents. Finally I felt like I could start saving towards the one thing I needed, a violin. The violin I have been borrowing hasn’t been able to keep pace with what I need anymore. For years I’ve been talking about saving with my mom, and finally I could. I idea that I wouldn’t feel stuck anymore was a relief. I’ve felt stuck in one place during my lessons for several months. Trying to do what I need to continue to improve, but struggling against a violin and my own frustration. I couldn’t get what I wanted from the violin. And then an extraordinary opportunity became available. So, I started looking at violins. One of which gave me hope that I would no longer be stuck, and could continue moving forward in my career, and practice. The more I talked to my parents about it the more frustrated I became. The violins sounded nice according to my mom, but my dad just thought they all sounded like noise. My mom continued to ask why I had to buy something. Couldn’t I just keep borrowing the same violin? The thing about borrowing something is that eventually the person wants the item back. I’ve borrowed this violin for over 2 years now. I need my own violin.

My head keeps spinning. One minute I know what to do, and then the next I once again feel like I’m disappointing people by making a decision they (my mom) may not approve of. I know that ultimately it is my choice. I’ve talked for years about how this needs to happen. She has acknowledged it too. Sometimes decisions come with risk, but I don’t know if I can ignore this opportunity, especially one that could help me so much. So, once again my head is spinning. Fortunately a friend has kindly offered to listen to the violins, and give some feedback.

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2 thoughts on “The violin search: thoughts

  1. These decisions where passion, finances and family collide can be so difficult. Plus, unlike TV game shows, there’s not going to be a pleasant little bell that chimes to let you know you made the right choice. All I can say is find a quiet place, hear what’s in your heart and act on that.

    • So true Jim! I actually just had a really good chat with my mom. I was totally reading her reaction wrong. But you’re right. It’s my decision, and I ultimately have to do what’s right, and what works for me 🙂

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