Last week was a bit of a tough week. It was just one of those weeks where too much is going on, and then things just start to go wrong. For example, your Dad finally decides after 5 years that it’s okay to have his name removed from your car title, but it has to be done this summer, and oh by the way, he’s not going to help. After weeks of staring at the Georgia DOR car title site I threw up my hands, and finally started asking people what the heck did I need to do this. While they were not necessarily the most pleasant people (really there’s no need to get snippy at me for asking an honest question) I did mange to get everything done once I got Dad to actually do what he needed to clear the insurance & title. Too much stress!
Then I took a look at my fall schedule. There are huge holes, and lots of students missing. Commence freak out number one. Where did everyone go? Then one of my students switches teachers even after telling me I was doing a good job. Huh? Wallow? Yes, I wallowed a bit last week, and freaked out. Friday morning I was in tears.
But then I realized there are some things I have no control over. Why should I blame myself for a student leaving when they said I was doing a good job? I have a bunch of students and parents who do appreciate what I do. And then oddly enough yesterday’s devotional from church comes in and ask this question, “So how do you go about seeking peace?” Did I have peace when everything was seeming to fall apart last week? No, and crying and wallowing was getting me no where. It was time to get back on my feet, and do what I could. I needed to focus on the students who did want me around. They each deserve the very best I can give them. I needed to remember that the car stuff wasn’t what was important. I had wanted this for a long time. Some help would have been nice, but I know by now not to expect help from my Dad. I needed to focus on the things that are truly more important than me, and the crazy ups and downs happen all of the time. If I blame myself all of the time, and assume that I am the problem then I get no where. I started taking control over my bank account so that when all of this crazy stuff happens every summer I don’t have to feel the added pressure of looking for money to pay the bills. I started to finding my violin practicing mojo again, and focused on what I needed to do to get better. I started to listen. Sometimes I just sat. There are so many things out in the world that want to tear us down. Monday I felt like I had a new pair of eyes. Do I have peace now? More than I did before that’s for sure, but then it’s an ongoing process. Find what’s beautiful in a day, and what’s really important to you. Don’t change who you are because of some slips. Find peace, and strength where ever you can